Leadership is an interactive
conversation that pulls people toward
becoming comfortable with the language
of personal responsibility
and commitment.
Leadership development
is self-development.
Leadership is not just for people at
the top. Everyone can learn to
lead by discovering the power that lies
within each one of us to make a
difference and being prepared when the
call to lead comes.
Albert Einstein once said, "We should
take care not to make the intellect our
god; it has, of course, powerful
muscles but no personality. It cannot
lead; it can only serve."
Leaders know and science has discovered
emotionality's deeper purpose: the
timeworn mechanisms of emotion allow
two human beings to receive the
contents of each other's minds. Emotion
is the messenger of love; it is the
vehicle that carries every signal from
one brimming heart to another.
Leadership is applicable to all facets
of life: a competency that you can
learn to expand your perspective, set
the context of a goal, understand the
dynamics of human behavior and take the
initiative to get to where you want to
be.
Self-coaching helps you develop your
leadership skills, clarify your values
and guiding principles and build your
reputation. Self-knowledge provides
the personal integrity to engage in
productive and authentic relationships.
Since 'coaching' is a leadership
competency, here are five guiding
principles that guide respectful
conversations.
1. When peers connect change happens.
Effective coaching can happen on the
dance floor of conversation.
2. It's OK to begin a conversation by
confronting the other person with
questions that seem awkward but set the
stage for a respectful exchange. Why
waste time on small talk? Just ask to-
the-point information-seeking
questions, like: "What are you here
for? How do you want to spend our time
together?"
3. Conversations are not meant to be
structured. Be open to conversations
that you are unprepared for and focused
on the interests of the other person
(not your purpose).
4. Don't get pulled into solving
problems that may not matter to the
other person. Allow time for the person
to get to what's really important.
Provide spaces where they can express
their doubts and fears by being a
thoughtful listener--without taking
on the responsibility to fix or debate
the issue. After all, you have invited
the person to talk about what matters
to her or him, not you, so allow time
for the articulation of those thoughts
and feelings.
5. Personal transformation happens when
the right questions get asked--not by
providing answers. When you focus on
the solution, you are trying to sell
the person something. When you allow
people to answer their own questions,
they discover what they were not
aware of---and what is needed to move
forward. Personal transformation leads
corporate transformation--one person at
a time.
That is why leadership development is
not an event. It is a process of
participating in respectful
conversations where the leader
recognizes his or her own feelings and
those of others in building safe and
trusting relationships.
For human beings, feeling deeply is
synonymous with being alive.
John G. Agno can be reached at http://www.MentoringandCoaching.com..
John G. Agno is certified executive and
business coach who helps people build
effective leadership skills. He can be
reached at www.MentoringandCoaching.com
Copyright 2004, Signature, Inc., Ann
Arbor, MI USA
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